There are lies and damned lies, and then there are stories produced by tabloid health editors. Yesterday one of their favourite topics, Patrick Swayze, star of Ghost, Dirty Dancing and various other films I've been forced to watch by girlfriends, tragically died of pancreatic cancer at just 57 years old. His death followed a two-year battle with the disease, and two years in which his every appearance fuelled a sort of sick and morbid game among tabloid hacks to predict his demise. Here's a little run through of the Daily Mail's various predictions over the last 18 months.

The story broke in the first week of March 2008, and the papers gave less chance of seeing the summer than Frosty the Snowman.

7th March, 2008: Hollywood rallies around Patrick Swayze as he vows to continue work during his cancer battle - "An American magazine claimed the star was facing as little as five weeks to live in a report revealing he was battling the disease."

14th March, 2008: Patrick Swayze still smoking despite being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer - "...if, as reports suggest, Patrick Swayze has only a few weeks to live..."

Within the first few months a pattern emerged. There were two possible Patrick Swayze stories; i) Patrick Swayze is about to die and ii) Patrick Swayze's doing great. Now cancer patients will often have good times and bad times, but what's remarkable is the way that newspapers reached these conclusions on the basis of a photo or an off-hand remark. If Swayze looks a bit glum, he's facing the end. If he's got a bit of a tan he's making a miraculous recovery.

9th April, 2008: Patrick Swayze having 'excellent response to cancer treatment' - "A month ago, it was reported that Swayze had been "close to death". The actor was said to have as little as five weeks to live."

4th May, 2008: Patrick Swayze looks grey and gaunt as battle against cancer takes its toll - "But reports suggest he is preparing for the end..."

9th June, 2008: Brave cancer sufferer Swayze goes back to work in new TV series - "The Dirty Dancing star, 55, is said to have been responding well to treatment"

So Patrick gets better worse better, and things calm down few a few months until the papers decide in the run up to Christmas to accuse him of dying - the accusation here being that he may have dared to start dying without telling them first.

3rd December, 2008: I'm still fighting: Angry Patrick Swayze hits back at reports that he's dying from cancer - "Last week, a U.S. supermarket tabloid claimed the Dirty Dancing actor was beginning 'the countdown to the end' after being told the cancer had spread to his liver."

The reports prompted Swayze to take some time out from his life-threatening battle with a fatal disease in order to fight another battle with the gutter press; a battle he had even less chance of winning.

"It's upsetting that the shoddy and reckless reporting from these publications cast a negative shadow on the positive and good fight I'm fighting. For me, my family, and those close to me, it amounts to downright emotional cruelty."

Quite. The papers backed off for a while, after he appeased their morbid fascination by doing a television interview.

16th January, 2009: Cancer stricken Patrick Swayze is 'doing well' as he is treated in hospital for pneumonia - "In an interview last week he spoke of time running out, with the words: ‘I’d say five years is wishful thinking. Two years seems likely if you’re going to believe the statistics.’"

But it didn't last long. By the end of January, they were spreading wild rumours that he'd stopped treatment.

28th January, 2009: Cancer-stricken Patrick Swayze 'stops treatment after doctors say there is little they can do' - "A family friend told the Enquirer: 'There's nothing more doctors can do for him. We are down to the wire and the goal now is to keep Patrick comfortable.'"

Once again Swayze was forced to step in, patiently explaining to 'journalists' that their story about him stopping treatment was accurate apart from the big about him stopping treatment. Connoisseurs of tabloid double-think will appreciate the weasel-worded addition of "reportedly" to a quote otherwise taken verbatim from the previous story. Classy.

30th January 2009: Patrick Swayze denies reports he has stopped having cancer treatment - "A family friend reportedly told the Enquirer: 'There's nothing more doctors can do for him.'"

This worked for about another fortnight, at which point reports about his treatment degenerated into a bizarre fictional reality, in which Patrick Swayze entered a sort of quantum state in which he responded well to the treatment that he had rejected.

14th February, 2009: Gaunt Patrick Swayze defiantly chain-smokes as he battles cancer - "Reports from the US suggest that he has stopped treatment for the cancer..."

14th March, 2009: Brave Patrick Swayze looks frail on shopping trip as he continues cancer battle - The actor is said to be responding well to chemotherapy after suffering a setback in January when he was admitted to hospital suffering from pneumonia.

The double-think doesn't just apply to current events, but to history. Talking without a trace of irony about his 2008 series "The Beast" on April 15th, the virtually omnipresent Daily Mail Reporter remarks that:

"The series arrived on a wave of publicity mainly driven by the grim prognosis and exaggerated accounts that he was near death."

Quite. But no matter, because Patrick was about to be saved!

25th July, 2009: How new advances may help Patrick Swayze beat cancer - "...his recovery is due to recent advances in radiotherapy-surgery and chemotherapy that give patients a better chance of surviving longer, and some even a hope of being cured."

6th August, 2009: Patrick Swayze proves he's beating the odds in his cancer battle...

Less than six weeks later, Patrick Swayze died. Rest in peace. Peace from cancer, and peace from insensitive tabloid rumour-mongering.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Follow me on Twitter! @mjrobbins